BEFORE WE CONTINUE WITH OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING…
I have an announcement. Some of you may be wondering when I’m planning to upload the Kindle Edition. Originally, the plan was to upload it a week after the Smashwords edition. However, I hadn’t anticipated how much time it was going to take to learn the HTML necessary. I also hadn’t anticipated that college life was going to catch up with me.
Therefore, the Kindle Edition of The Kingdom: The Quest, has been postponed to Christmas 2011. Get excited!
END OF MESSAGE. CONTINUE WITH REGULAR PROGRAMMING.
When my friends found out I was writing a novel, they did what any good friend might do. They gave me a pat on the back.
“Wow!” they would say. “I could never do that myself! You’re the best writer ever! Go for it!”
When I released the Smashwords edition in October, another round of applause followed. It got intoxicating, to be honest. I truly felt accomplished. Insecurity had been a chronic disease for me while I was editing; all this praise was refreshing. I sat back and basked in the glory of what they said to me.
A few days ago, reality hit home. I got back from a literature class, and turned on my smartphone.
“It’s about time I read this book for myself,” said I. I flipped to Stanza and got started.
“Mmmm…” I murmured, uncomfortably, a few minutes later. “I don’t think that word choice was the smartest idea…”
“Ew,” I said about halfway through. “I want to rewrite that dialogue. Needs more foreshadowing.”
“Augh!” I said by the end. “I want to rewrite this whole thing!”
My writer’s instinct had turned back on, and it taught me something. A writer’s peace never lasts. It’s our nature to always seek perfection. There’s a rhythm and a reason to good writing, and no one has ever gotten it just right. That’s why we spend all those hours hunched over a laptop. That’s why I cringed reading my published work.
I’ve been told by other people that I’m fine. But I know I never will be. If I want to be fine, I must lay down my pen and cut out my heart. Unless I do that, I will never be satisfied with my work.
Neither should you.